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Bible

Gentleness

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A week ago, I had the opportunity to preach in Church for the first time. Below is the neatened-up version of what I said. If you would rather listen to the talk, it can be found on the church Facebook page here.

Continuing with our study of the fruits of the Spirit, today we are looking at gentleness. We are going to read 1 Peter 3v8-18.

The dictionary definition of gentle reads as follows: kindly, amiable; not severe, rough or violent; mild; moderate; arch. noble, chivalrous. I like that last one, it makes me think of knights of yore.

Today is Palm Sunday and we have been thinking about Jesus entering Jerusalem, gentle and riding on a donkey. This is maybe not how we would picture a knight, but that’s the point: the Jews were expecting a Valiant Messiah who would overthrow the Romans and restore Israel, but Jesus’ mission was one of gentle revolution – a quiet ushering in of the kingdom of God, turning lives around.

In this passage from Peter, gentleness is linked to living and preaching the good news. We must be ready to give an answer for our faith in Jesus, which we hope would have been evidenced in our lives. If we are ‘eager to do good’, despite insult or mistreatment, people will want to know why.

My NIV study Bible note explains that ‘our apologetic (“answer”) is always to be given with love, never in degrading terms’. This reminded me of another verse about gentleness: ‘a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger’ (Proverbs 15:1)

All this got me thinking, what are we known for? As Christians, are we known for being ‘eager to do good’ and answering questions ‘with gentleness and respect’? or is the way we are seen in the world less positive?

Recently I have been reading Philip Yancey’s Vanishing Grace – a follow up to What’s So Amazing About Grace? In the opening chapter he says:

We are called to proclaim good news of forgiveness and hope, yet I keep coming across evidence that many people do not hear our message as good news

I feel like in the media Christians are presented as/assumed to be angry about things? When I was a teenager it was Harry Potter, some of my friends tore up their copies. At uni I remember hearing about Christians due to the Jerry Springer opera. We often are presented as being angry about things we disagree with. To the wider culture we are thought to be on the wrong side of many debates – gay rights, abortion, etc

In some ways we are meant to speak out, be a prophetic voice for the voiceless and stand against injustice when we see it. We see this in the Bible, in the books of the prophets. This is sometimes described as righteous anger. And sometimes this is okay – Jesus got angry, we see that in the gospels. But we need to think about what Jesus got angry about. He got angry with the temple traders who disrupted the worship of the Gentiles by setting up a market in the only area they were allowed to worship God in the temple. He got angry at the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, (Matthew 23) who ‘tie[d] up heavy loads and put them on men’s shoulders’ – who were so focused on the law that they missed God’s grace. These were people who were meant to be showing the way to God, but instead were so caught up in legalistic obsession with rules to live by, without changing their hearts, that they became a stumbling block.

I believe the Church today maybe in danger of this – it is too easy to get on our moral high horse and miss out on showing people the grace of God. I’m thinking about – for example – the abortion debate. I’m ‘pro-life’ but not just the life of the unborn. Some others who label themselves as pro-life aren’t necessarily so in all areas – I’m going to paint a picture of a stereotypical American politician, a Republican, who would say they base their politics on Christian/family values. They are anti-abortion, yes, but they are also anti-immigration (refugees), anti-gun control, anti-universal healthcare – meaning sick people struggle to get the medical help they need, – they are anti-welfare, and they support the death penalty. Is that really pro-life? – This type of person is often seen as hypocrite by wider society. If you are ‘pro-life’ you need to be pro-all life.

Another debate where we perhaps don’t cover ourselves in glory is the area of gay rights. When I was an undergraduate at uni in Cardiff the gay marriage debate was working it’s way through parliament. One of my housemates asked what I thought. I explained that I believe that God designed marriage to be between one man and one woman for life, but that while I try to live by what I believe the Bible teaches, I don’t think I should be inflicting my values on those who don’t hold to the same beliefs as me. I choose to try to live by a certain moral code, because my of faith and the values associated, but I can barely stick to it myself, so why should I enforce it on others who don’t hold to the same values?

The passage from Peter talks about suffering for doing good – but is that taking the moral high ground, or showing people love even when it’s hard and we disagree with their lifestyle?

Taking for example, Christian bakers. There have been several famous cases both in Northern Ireland and USA, where Christian bakers have been taken to court and lost their businesses over refusing to bake cakes for gay weddings/gay rights etc. I understand why and support them and applaud their courage, but at the same time – it’s just a cake! And what sends a better message to the world – refusing to serve someone because you disagree with them, or choosing to serve them despite disagreeing with them?

I heard another story on twitter which made my soul hurt. A gay guy was on his way to adopt a cat, when he got a message from the lady who owned the cat saying she had found out he was gay and didn’t feel right giving the cat to him because she was a Christian. She then proceeded to lecture him about his lifestyle. That is not a good demonstration of love or gentleness.

Billy Graham quoted as saying ‘It is the Holy Spirit’s Job to convict, God’s job to judge, my job to love’. Gentleness in action means living a life that shows love and respect to everyone, serving those in need, regardless of how you feel about their life choices. This means: seek peace, do good. Show God in the way you live

Verse 15 of our passage says ‘always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect’. The key words for me are: ‘who asks you’. Meaning, wait until you are asked. Show grace, don’t force your opinion on those who aren’t ready to hear it. Wait to be invited. Earn the right to speak into someone’s life by showing them love. And think about what you say – is this going to draw this person closer to God or push them further away?

At school I had a friend called Richard. When we met in year 7, he was an atheist. We stayed friends all through secondary school. When he came out as gay in year 10 or 11, I was the first person he told and I was honoured that he chose to tell me. When we were leaving to go to different sixth forms, he told me that couldn’t be an atheist any more, he had to believe God existed because he saw Him in my life. I was not a perfect teenager, I messed up quite a lot of things, but I tried to live my faith, show kindness to those around me. That opened the door for opportunities to share God with people.

Before you think I’m awesome, I’m not great at this. I often fall into workplace gossip and get frustrated with co-workers who don’t have same work ethic as me. I am resolved to do better! So let’s look a good example of this, when Jesus met a Samaritan woman of dubious morality in John 4.

[I read Ruth Tucker’s re-telling of this story from Dynamic Women of the Bible]

What Ruth Tucker highlights so beautifully is the isolation of the woman before she met Jesus. She was an outcast. The moral people of the town wanted nothing to do with her. She was hungry for conversation, and Jesus was there to meet her.

Jesus may have initiated the conversation, but he let her direct it. He was crossing boundaries even to talk to her (man to woman, Jew to Samaritan) but he didn’t let societal norms stop him from reaching out to someone in need.

He didn’t push her on her life choices. He brought up her marital situation, yes, but didn’t linger on it when she changed the subject. Regardless of her problematic lifestyle, he talked theology with her. Instead of a lecture, she was treated with grace, kindness and respect – with gentleness.

And it worked – where a sermon on sexual morality would have sent her running, an open discussion when Jesus clearly knew about her life but accepted her anyway was what changed her. And the result of this change impacted the whole town.

In this way, gentleness is linked with the other fruits: living a life showing love and kindness to others, bearing with their faults patiently and with gentleness. These create opportunities to show God’s grace to them.

We should be trying to live out our faith, to base our lives and actions on biblical values. But we should not be trying to force our moral code onto others and then expect them to listen when we tell them God loves them. Instead, if we show them God loves them by the way we interact with them, they will be more open to hearing what we have to say. We need to earn the right to tell people about our faith – and maybe that means we never challenge them on parts of their life we disagree with, or maybe that means one day they’ll ask for our advice. Either way, treat them with gentleness and respect, seeking peace. Keep the door open for them to see God.

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art = rest for the soul

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I recently joined a Christian art group. I am by no means an artist, I dabble with a bit of painting and quite like colouring, but I would not consider myself at all skilled in visual arts.

At the first meeting I confessed to being an interloper. I explained I am more of a wordsmith than a visual artist, but that I enjoy dabbling. I also read them one of my poems – ‘Hibernation‘ – that I written quite recently. One lady commented that she could really picture the tree as I had described it. I remembered then that a long time ago I had had an idea of publishing my poems in a book with a corresponding picture to go with each, as a kind of meditation/reflection aid.

For this month’s meeting we were given a Bible passage to reflect on and try to create a piece of art inspired by it. I actually suggested the passage, but couldn’t come up with anything so gave up on that idea and read through some of my old poems instead. I realised that quite a lot of them use visual imagery to create parallels and give meaning. I chose one of my favourites – ‘My Life in Your Service‘ – and tried to find pictures that I could use as inspiration for a piece of artwork to go with it.

Now, remember, I am not very good at art, and I am hoping to get better. However, I am quite pleased with my first effort…

 

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What was more pleasing, though, was how peaceful I felt. Even when I messed up and had to rub bits out and try again, I didn’t get frustrated, I just enjoyed the process.

The first thing we learn about God in the Bible is that He is creative. The first thing we learn about humans is that we are made in His image. When we create, we are reflecting the image of God and to me it feels like I am bringing my soul in tune with his.

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A Lost Masterpiece

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I have always been a bit of a geek, so it may not surprise you that some of my very favourite things to watch on tv is are documentaries. I especially love those about history or the arts, so my ideal viewing choice is a documentary on art history.

I recently discovered a new favourite, which adds whole new levels of excitement to the genre. In Britain’s Lost Masterpieces, two historians browse the hidden collections of small city museums to see what they can find in the storage rooms. Between them they pick out a painting of unclear origins, which they suspect is worth more than it seems. While the painting is cleaned and restored by an expert team – which involves removing layers of dirt and grime, and often extra paint that some overkeen previous restorer has added in an attempt to improve the picture – the historians research both the history of the painting and the collection to try to trace the origins of the work.

What I love about this programme is the idea that sometimes things of great value can lie hidden, perhaps covered in the dirt and grime of life, perhaps suffering from failed attempts to fix their issues, their true worth undiscovered. Then someone has the idea to take them out, clean them off, patch them up and put their beauty on display for all to see.

Sound familiar?

To me, this is the essence of the gospel. So many times, the Bible talks of seeking out the lost, the broken, the unclean and making us new, restoring our value. A fair amount of Jesus’ parables are on this theme, for starters (the lost sheep, the lost coin, the lost son, the pearl of great price…) But my favourite Bible text on this theme is a little more obscure…

Zechariah 3:1-5:

Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the Lord, and Satan standing at his right side to accuse him. The Lord said to Satan, ‘The Lord rebuke you, Satan! The Lord, who has chosen Jerusalem, rebuke you! Is not this man a burning stick snatched from the fire?’ Now Joshua was dressed in filthy clothes as he stood before the angel. The angel said to those who were standing before him, ‘Take off his filthy clothes.’ Then he said to Joshua, ‘See, I have taken away your sin, and I will put fine garments on you.’ Then I said, ‘Put a clean turban on his head.’ So they put a clean turban on his head and clothed him, while the angel of the Lord stood by.

 

Sometimes it can be hard to see ourselves as valuable. When society and the media present an image of what success/beauty/worth looks like we can feel like we have no value because we don’t match up. Sometimes we can be blinded to the value of others, if we feel like we tick all the right boxes. This passage reminds us that we all fall short of a standard, but that the one who set the standard elevates us, saves us from the fire, dusts us off, cleans us up and makes us as good as new. We are diamonds in the rough, buried treasure, a lost masterpiece…

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. (Ephesians 2:10, NLT)

Theology

True Love’s Kiss

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I started writing this post a while back (I’d say about two years ago) and couldn’t work out where it was going. Then last week we started a new series at church on the fruits of the spirit and I remembered it.

It was a bit of a strange evening, as nothing for the team had gone to plan. The vicar had laryngitis and couldn’t preach, the curate had been away on retreat and hadn’t had time to prepare anything. The worship team couldn’t get in the building because the key safe was broken, and the vicar was picking up the curate from the station. So by the time myself and the other members of the congregation arrived, everyone was a little bit unsure how the evening would pan out.

The curate made the inspired decision to get us all to do an exercise called ‘lectio divina’. We were looking at the first of the fruits of the spirit, love, so she selected a passage from 1 John 4. It was read out three times, and she asked us to reflect on one word or phrase that stuck in our minds.

Unfortunately, I am not very good at listening, so the phrase I chose to focus on isn’t exactly in that passage – I heard the start of verse 13 “this is how we know” and my brain filled in the next line from an old worship song: “this is how we know what love is”.* The following line in the song says: “just one look at the cross”. So this phrase was circling round in my head, and brought to mind the post I started writing two years ago. So I decided to finish it tonight.

 

I’m a big fan of fairytales. I love the mix of frivolity and seriousness, fantasy and wisdom. I love that the ordinary person can become the hero and that with courage, determination and something to fight for they can overcome any foe, and Good can triumph over Evil.

One of my favourite shows is Once Upon and Time (but I’m only on season 2 so no spoilers, please** – and actually I should warn you there is a season one spoiler up ahead). In this show, all of our favourite fairytale characters are trapped by the evil Queen’s curse, in a small village called Storybrooke in the middle of nowhere in modern America, with no idea who they really are, unable to be who they are meant to be. The only one who can free them from the curse is Emma, the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, but she was brought up in a foster home and doesn’t believe in fairytales. A theme running through the show is that the only thing more powerful than magic, more powerful than any curse, is true love, often demonstrated by true love’s kiss. It is only when Emma realises the depth of her love for her son Henry that the curse is broken and all the people of Storybrooke rediscover their true selves. It turns out that a fail-safe was built into the curse so that Emma, the product of Snow White and Prince Charming’s true love, could break the curse by an act of true love.

This show brings a new take on many old stories and weaves them together beautifully. But there is a deeper parallel to this story that was hinting at me from under the surface…

We are all like the inhabitants of Storybrooke. We are all under a curse that we cannot break on our own. We have all forgotten the people we were created to be. GK Chesterton puts it like this:

‘Every man has forgotten who he is. One may understand the cosmos, but never the ego; the self is more distant than any star. Thou shalt love the Lord thy God; but thou shalt not know thyself. We are all under the same mental calamity; we have all forgotten our names. We have all forgotten what we really are. All that we call common sense and rationality and practicality and positivism only means that for certain dead levels of our lives we forget that we have forgotten. All that we call spirit and art and ecstacy only means that for one awful instant we remember that we forget.’ (Orthodoxy p211)

A while back, I was reading Lisa Bevere’s Girl’s With Swords, which also picks up on this theme of the curse we are under. She talks about how at the beginning of time there was a garden, and an act of disobedience, and that brought consequences. The curse consisted of three layers of separation – man was to live in disharmony with God, with the earth, and with each other. But there was always a plan to free us from the curse, a plan that required an act of true love:

‘You see, the Cross was always part of the plan. It was not a backup plan that was set into motion when Adam and Eve failed. It was the fail-safe. Each day Jesus lived to express the Father’s heart, will and nature to the lost inhabitants of the earth’ (p69, emphasis added)

The thing about the cross is, the parallel I mentioned earlier, is that we use the symbol of the cross as kiss when we write a letter to a loved one. I don’t think that this is a coincidence when the ultimate symbol of love was Jesus’ death on a cross to save all of us from the curse we are under. One of my favourite hymns puts it beautifully:

On the mount of crucifixion,
Fountains opened deep and wide;
Through the floodgates of God’s mercy
Flowed a vast and gracious tide.
Grace and love, like mighty rivers,
Poured incessant from above,
And heav’n’s peace and perfect justice
Kissed a guilty world in love.

(William Rees)

The cross is True Love’s Kiss – the only thing powerful enough to break any curse and release us to be our true selves.

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* I just checked and it actually appears in chapter 3, so I’m not a complete heretic…

** I have actually been so busy that I have not got much further than the start of season three still… really must get on with that…

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New Year’s Resolutions Part Two – Wellbeing Goals

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I think I’ve said this a few times, but 2017 was a pretty intense year for me. (I won’t go into all the details again, I promise…) So when I started thinking about what word I wanted to pick as my defining word for 2018, one kept coming to mind:

Breathe.

The other day when I was sorting through some boxes in my flat, I came across a picture I painted a few years ago. I am by no means a great artist, but from time to time I dabble in art worship, and this particular picture I had painted in response to a time of reflection on Psalm 23. One particular verse had stood out for me, verse three, which in the Message translation reads:

True to your word,
you let me catch my breath
and send me in the right direction

Elsewhere in the Bible, several of the authors talk about the Christian life being a race,* and I love this image, this idea of God allowing us to pause and take a moment to rest, to breathe, before picking up and carrying on.

You let me catch my breath - Psalm 23

So this year for me is about hitting pause, and going back to basics. I have spent the last three years working steadily towards the goal of finishing my Masters, without much thought for what came next. I have been working in public sector administration to fund my studies, which is enjoyable enough but not something I believe I am called to long term. I have some ideas of what I would like to do, and what I believe God is calling me to, but I need for now to not rush into the next thing. I need to take some time just to be with God. To remember how to read the Bible for relationship and not just for study. To rediscover my talents for musical and poetical worship. To find joy in having the time to volunteer for things again. I need to catch my breath.

And sometimes I need to be reminded not to worry about my future. For a long time the background of my laptop has been a quote from Winnie the Pooh, the great fountain of wisdom. It says: ‘Rivers know this: there is no hurry, we shall get there someday’. I cannot tell you how comforting I still find that every time I open my laptop. It reminds me that it’s okay not to have it all figured out yet. I sometimes feel like I’ve taken a wrong turn somewhere along the way and I’m missing out on God’s Big Purpose for my life. But with God, nothing is wasted. He has put me where I am for a reason (which I am still discovering) and will lead me on to the next thing in the right time. Until then I will keep my eyes and ears open for what He is calling me to, pushing at doors to see which ones will open, and trusting in His promises.

So this year is about resting and trusting, and focusing on my spiritual and mental health, but also my physical health. Basically I’m looking to take better care of myself.

The truth of the matter is, last year during the height of dissertation season I got into some pretty bad eating and exercising habits – the former I did too much of and the latter nowhere near enough. The result being that I put back on a fair amount of the weight that I’d lost in the previous few years. So I am aiming to shed that weight again (roughly 1st.) through eating more healthily and exercising more. I have started planning ahead my meals a bit better and finding healthier alternatives to favourite snacks. I’ll be going back to dance classes again and I really do intend to either use the gym at work (I get a bit bored at the gym but the work one is free to staff members) or take up swimming again as there is a pool really near me.

This morning at Church we had our covenant service, where we celebrate all the great things God has done through our community in the past year and commit to serving Him together in the next. Our youth minister reminded us that resolutions are easier to keep in community, where we can encourage one another. This resonated with me as I thought about my New Year’s resolutions and the fact that I have shared them fairly publicly on this blog. I hope that it will help me to stick to them as now other people know and can hold me accountable. And if you would like to share yours in the comments please do so that we can work towards them together.

On which note I feel I should share that I have not done very well at my writing goal this week, today being the only day that I have managed to write for an extended period… BUT on Monday I went to a second hand bookstore and didn’t buy a single thing, which is a huge win for me!

Going back to rivers, often when I think about that Winnie the Pooh quote, a certain song comes to mind which I find soothing to my soul. I’d like to share it with you. (You can read the lyrics here).

 

* e.g. Hebrews 12v2; Acts 20v24; 2 Timothy 4v7

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New Year’s Resolutions Part One – Reading and Writing Goals

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2017 was a big year for me. I turned 30, moved back out from my parents’ house into one I partially own, and completed the final part of my Masters, including a 15000 word dissertation.

You may have noticed that one of the things to take a back seat in the last year was this blog, as I while I was studying I just did not have the time to spare on writing for fun, and since finishing my course in October I have needed to give my brain a rest. But I miss all the writing, the stringing together of words in new and meaningful ways. So one of my goals for 2018 is to get back into good writing habits. I intend to post on here a lot more frequently than last year – I’m aiming for at least once a week. I’m also working toward more variety in what I post. I want to practice more creative writing, but also review more books and films, to share some of what influences me creatively. I would like to share some reflections from what I learnt from my course, and get back into blogging my Bible studies. So look out for a more eclectic mix of posts from me in the future. I hope you enjoy what I have to share. I recognise that some of that might not appeal to you, dear reader, but I hope you find something that you like and stick with me for the rest, as there might be something that surprises you. I don’t know. I am still trying to find my voice and work out what kind of a writer I am.

Outside of the blog, I also had several novels I was working on before I had to put them on the back burner while studying, so I will be reviving them. I’m aiming to finish a first draft of at least one of them before the summer of 2019 (as per my #Next5 goals from 2014) so I will be dedicating time to work on them too.

I haven’t quite worked out exactly how to make myself more disciplined in my writing yet, but it will probably involve setting aside an hour a day for a certain number of days per week for focused writing, on whatever topic. One thing I am definitely going to do is not put off writing reviews – when I read a book or see a film that I want to write about I will aim to get my thoughts down that week while it is fresh. Earlier this year I read a book that meant a lot to me and I really intended to review it, but before I knew it months had passed and I couldn’t really remember all the details that I wanted to share. So no more procrastinating. (On which note, I feel proud of myself as I have already written two reviews today, which I will be sharing here soon! Go me starting my resolutions early!)

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One of the delightful aspects of having my own place again was that I was able to unpack all my boxes of books that had been in storage for three years. Unfortunately this has also lead to an explosion of my TBR list, not helped by my addiction to buying books (I bought over 50 books this year, and was given around 30, not to mention ones I’ve borrowed from the library. My Goodreads to read shelf currently has 549 items on it). So, as I am severely running out of shelf space, I recognise the need to not buy more books next year.

The slight problem with not buying ANY books (other than that I don’t think I could cope with going cold turkey) is that one of the greatest joys of my life this year has been discovering the #Ninjabookcommunity – I subscribe to the quarterly #Ninjabookbox and have loved discovering more great independently published books through #Ninjabookclub. Of my top three books of the year, one was from a #Ninjabookbox (Star Shot by Mary Ann Constantine, published by Seren books) and one was our #Ninjabookclub pick for November (How to Be a Kosovan Bride by Naomi Hamill, published by Salt). The third I received from my partner in the #Ninjabookswap (The Loneliest Girl in the Universe by Lauren James, although I don’t know if the publisher Walker books are independent as that was not a requirement of the swap and I can’t find the list at the moment).

So instead of cutting out bookbuying entirely, I will be attempting in 2018 to only buy ninja-related books – as in, they are in the #ninjabookbox, for #ninjabookclub or bought on a #ninjaorganised bookshop crawl (which I am hoping to take part in). I’m aiming for less than 20. The ONLY exception will be if I can stick to this until December I will treat myself to J.R.R. Tolkein’s Letters from Father Christmas as 2018 is also going to be my year for re-reading Tolkien and it will be Christmas.

This means that I am kind-of accidentally taking part in #Ninjabookbox’s #IndieChallenge – to buy more/only independently published books in 2018. I have discovered so many great books this year that I would not have come across otherwise through the Ninja influence that I am now a firm supporter of Independent publishers and want to help promote their books to a wider audience.

I have set other limits for myself as to how many books I am allowed to borrow or reread, but my main goal is to get my TBR list down to a more reasonable amount. I know that one year is not going to make a great deal of difference so I will have to see how long I can stick to this…

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So there you have it, my Writing and Reading goals for 2018. I have a couple of other things I want to work on for myself, which I will share in the not-to-distant future.

30by30

A ‘sorry-it’s-been-so-long-general-life-update’ post…

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Hi. So. Things got a little crazy for a few months there, with my final project for my Masters basically taking over my life from July to October, and I have essentially spent the last month and a half recovering. To be honest, having written a 15000 word dissertation I struggled to want to write anything for a while afterwards. I also found that coming to the end of something that had been the biggest part of my life for three years was quite hard on my mind and soul, and I found myself getting down and anxious, particularly until I received my results. But God is faithful, and keeps holding us close, even when He can feel far away.

And it was worth the wait to get my results, it was worth all the time, money and effort I put into the course. I found out my dissertation mark a few weeks ago, and I’ve heard this week that I have officially passed my Masters with Merit. Graduation is not until next summer, but it feels nice to be adding a few extra letters after my name!

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You may remember that I had a list of thirty things I was trying to do before I turned thirty at the end of September, and you may be wondering how I got on with that. Well, it may not be a surprise that with the Diss taking over my life for a few months I didn’t actually achieve everything on the list, but I didn’t do too badly (and finished a few things off since, and added a few extra). I do intend to write in more detail at some point about the items I have completed, but for now I will just list them and give a little explanation about the ones I didn’t manage… (If I have previously posted about an item I will link to it, I now realise how bad I have been at writing these up…!)

 

Completed

1) Finish Masters (finished 5th October)

3) Watch Star Wars

5) See a play at the Globe

6.2) Meet someone famous (ish)

9) Get another tattoo (aquired 30th September)

12) Reach 30 on the Shakespeare list

13) at least partially own my own home

15) have a herb garden

16) finish writing ‘The Girl in the Electric Blue Dress’

19) Climb Winchester Cathedral Tower

21) Become a patreon

22) Get a new job

23) Finish Susannah jumper (completed 3rd November)

24) Visit the Hundred Acre Woods

25) Grow Sunflowers

26) Visit Hay-On-Wye

28) Get a Jolly Roger Shipping Co. tee (or other fandom shirt)

29) twin my toilet

30) get Netflix in time for the new series of Star Trek

30.2) join a book club

30.3) become a Goodreads librarian

30.4) get National Trust Life Membership

22 items completely completed

 

Completed with slight modification (I may write in more detail about these later too!)

6) ‘join Neo-natal knitters’ became ‘find a charity knitting project’

– this was a project at a local hospital to knit items for babies born early. Someone gave me a flyer but when I contacted the number I didn’t get a response. I subbed in a different item for the challenge, but then was asked to make items for Christmas and Easter parcels my church was giving to people in need.

8) ‘sponsor another child’ became ‘support an awesome charity’

– I currently sponsor two children through Compassion, and wanted to support another one, through them or someone else. When I looked into it, however, I struggled to find a programme that would fit with my budget. Then I found out about Hope for Justice, an anti-trafficking charity. I was so inspired by the work they do, that I decided to support them monthly instead of taking on another child sponsorship.

14) ‘go on a date’ became ‘find a way to meet new people and not let being single be an excuse for not doing things’

– (quite a long new item, I realise!) The problem with going on a date is it requires someone to go on said date with, and I realised the difficulty with that is finding opportunities to meet said person. So I thought this could just become ‘be less of an introvert’ or ‘be less socially awkward’, neither of which were actually going to happen, let’s face it. So I settled for ‘try to meet new people’. My friend Rhi told me about this cool app called ‘Meetup’ which helps you find groups of people in your area who share interests. A lot of the groups I joined on the app have seemed too intimidating to actually meet up with, but I did join a lovely writing group, which sadly fizzled out after a few weeks, and I am hoping to join a local craft group in the next couple of weeks.

3 items completed in modified form!

 

Partially completed

4) Finish Wheel of Time

– this is Robert Jordan’s fantasy epic, with the last three books completed by Brandon Sanderson. At time of writing, I am on page 674 (of 909) of the fourteenth and final volume. At this stage, however, it is mostly long descriptions of battles and I am struggling (it’s taken me five months and counting so far). I’m sure I will get there someday, it just may not be this year…

7) try every recipe in a cookbook

– I probably should have chosen a very short cookbook, seeing as I didn’t have my own kitchen until June, but I chose one I was given for my birthday last year: Bake a Difference (a fairtrade cookbook). At time of writing, I have managed 31 out of 77 recipes, which isn’t bad going. My colleagues have greatly assisted in the eating of all the cake.

18) learn how to budget

– I wrote a budget out and stuck to it for about half of the year, with a few adjustments from when I moved into my own place to account for the extra bills and whatnot. When disstertationing took over, however, I didn’t have time to keep track of my spending and I haven’t started again since. But I know now that it is possible, and my New Year’s resolution will be to create a budget and stick to it.

27) finish Poldark books

– of all the items on the list, I think this is the one I’m most sad about not completing. I was trying to finish Wheel of Time first, which turned out to be a stupid plan. I still have three books to go in the Poldark series.

4 items partially completed!

 

Not going to happen this year/unattempted

2) visit Northern Ireland/Ireland

– I’m sad I didn’t manage to fit this in this year, as Northern Ireland is the only one of the home nations I’ve not visited. But I did make it to Edinburgh, which is somewhere I’ve always wanted to go. And I’ve just got back from Barbados, which was my first time in the Caribbean. So I don’t feel too bad. Maybe next year.

10) Ride in a hot air balloon

– this one made the list because one of my friends had told me we’d be doing it for her birthday, which is before mine. But we didn’t. By the time I realised it wasn’t going to happen I had too much else going on and quickly worked out I couldn’t afford it with everything else I’ve been doing. Maybe this can go on the 40by40 list?

11) learn to make macarons

– macarons are my absolute favourite treat. I got as far as buying a cookbook, but haven’t managed to actually attempt these yet. But I have eaten A LOT of macarons anyway…

17) make a Moldova scrapbook

– last summer I went to Moldova and took loads of photos and I have been intending to put them in an album. I just haven’t had time.

20) get Dashner off of my Goodreads Most Read Author list

– The Scorch Trials was hands down the WORST book I’ve read in recent years. It made me rethink my Goodreads rating policy. Goodreads ranks authors by how many books you have read, and my ‘Most-read Authors’ list currently includes authors if I have read two of their books. I assumed it would list the top 20 authors, but I currently have 29 authors at joint 35th,, on two books each. If anyone can enlighten me as to what ranking it goes up to, I would be most grateful!

5 items not attempted/completed

***

So there you have it, I think we’re all up to date. And hopefully I’m going to get back into the swing of writing more often again now…

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Happy New Year – 2017!

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2016-12-27-16-19-45

I’m sure I’m not the only person who was slightly relieved to have reached the end of 2016. While I had some great experiences last year, there were some quite tough times too. Add to that the political tensions and international crises, and the great sadness of losing so many well-loved actors, musicians, writers and other significant people; I know I was glad to lay 2016 to rest.

But there were good times. It is so easy to get overwhelmed by all the negativity in society and the media, so I have to keep reminding myself that I had some pretty amazing experiences too. For one thing, I was involved in a flash mob, which is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. (It was a Bollywood routine at a friend’s wedding and it was so. much. fun!) I also had the privilege of serving for two weeks on kids and youth camps in Moldova in the summer, which reawakened my love for youth and children’s work, gave my faith a much needed boost, and introduced me to some of the loveliest people I’ve ever met, many of whom I am sure will remain a great source of prayer and support for years to come. I also stepped out in faith a few times and found the courage to do a few things I’ve been meaning to do for a long time.

In terms of personal goals, I completed the second part of my Masters and managed to maintain my high academic standards even while taking on extra hours at work. I read the complete works of Shakespeare – the plays, sonnets and epic poems (I just have the apocrypha to go, which weren’t included in my edition of the complete works). I read 70 books and only bought 17 (not including ones for uni) – but as I borrowed and was given a fair number unfortunately by goodreads to-read count only decreased by one…

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you may remember that my word for last year was rest, and actually I realised towards the end of the year that I hadn’t been very good at this. It is definitely something I need to keep working on so when I planned out the next nine months as I work on my dissertation I have factored in short holidays to give myself a break.

But all-in-all, it was not a bad year. It’s nice to reflect and see all the good things in black and white, actually. But I am really excited about 2017! I can’t help but think it will be a very good year, as I hope to see the fulfilment of a few long-held dreams.

In view of this, the word I chose to help my shape my year is Imagine, and my verse for the year is Ephesians 3:20-1:

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”

I want to dream bigger about what God can do in and through me, to see and take opportunities and be faithful in the little things I am given. If He can do more than I imagine, I want to imagine the biggest, most excitingest things I can and see Him exceed my expectations.

I haven’t made any resolutions this year as I have my #30by30 list to work on (I’ve ticked a few more things off, by the way, which I will let you know about over the next few weeks). However, I have made the more general decision to try to give up negativity, instead I want to be positive, brave and kind and to remember that I carry the Kingdom of Heaven with me wherever I go.

Book review

Book Review – ‘Girls With Swords’ by Lisa Bevere

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I finished reading this book this week, and I must confess I read it a bit too quickly. I intend to read it again more slowly and thoroughly in the future and I’m sure I will get a lot more from it.

I’m just starting my research for my Masters dissertation, for which I have picked the topic of Feminist Theology. As I have had a bit of a break from studying over the summer, I picked up this book to try to give myself a gentler reintroduction to academic reading, which may be why I rushed it as I was feeling guilty that I wasn’t reading something meatier…

I loved the imagery of the sword used throughout, especially the word play of God Sword/God’s Word. Most of the time it was helpful, although occasionally I lost the thread of the point Bevere was trying to make in between all of the fencing terms. I also struggled to find the practical take-aways in what she was saying, but both of these things may have been where I was rushing a bit to read it.

It did make me reflect on my reasons for writing about feminist theology. My starting point for research is that some of the traditional teaching of the church has been a factor in the oppression, or at the very least, the marginalisation of women both within the church and in wider society. We have been told that only certain types of women are pleasing to God, i.e. the silent submissive kind. This has left women open to attack in all sorts of ways, and ill-prepared to defend themselves. But there are so many examples in the Bible and in church history of women taking the lead, making a stand, teaching, preaching and bringing people closer to God. (One small criticism of the book is that Bevere mainly uses male biblical characters as examples to make her points. Though I understand why given the points she is making, and I’m happy to have male role models, I can’t help feeling that the awesome women of God in the Bible should be getting more airtime, especially from female writers).

Girls With Swords is a call to women to equip themselves with the Word of God and to speak out, in love, mercy, forgiveness and against injustice. It is a reminder that we are daughters of the King, and he has entrusted each of us with a mission. I know my rushed reading didn’t do it justice, and I intend to reread it, and also to recommend it to women everywhere who need to recognise that they are people of power too.

My favourite chapter was about the flame-bladed sword, or the sword of song. Last week a friend a church prayed that I would find a new song, and this chapter was about how when we sing praise to God it strengthens us and brings His kingdom that bit closer. One of my favourite verses in the Bible is Zephaniah 3:17, which tells us that God delights in us and sings with joy over us. The day after I read the chapter about the singing sword, I was half listening to a song on the radio when I felt suddenly sure that I needed to note the name of the band and look the song up when I got home. I don’t know if the songwriters have a faith or what the song means to them, but for me it is the song God is singing over me, and, honestly, it just makes me feel epic. It’s called Warrior Daughter and the band is Wildwood Kin, please use the link below to see the video (I’m typing this on the iPad so I’m not sure how to embed the video, sorry! I promise it is worth the click!)

https://youtu.be/SPjWuQBaUNo

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Youth camp revelations 

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I was helping on a youth camp last week – and it was amazing and exhausting. I had a bit of an emotional rollercoaster week for all sorts of reasons that I’m not going to go into just yet, and I still have loads to process from the week. But for now I want to give you some of the top things I learnt from the week.

1) God’s plans are amazingly beautiful and intricate and we need to stop second guessing them (and Him). A year ago I went for a youth work job at a church where I had previously done some training. This was my dream job, and the timing seemed so perfect, I was sure it was God’s plan for me to get it. But I didn’t. Last week a friend who has been working with that church was helping out on youth camp. She is now engaged to the guy who got the job, and they wouldn’t have met if I had got it. A year on I can see how that job wasn’t the right into for me at that time, and how happy I am with my life right now… God is good, y’all.

2) It is so easy for each of us to be a different person in different situations, and we don’t even realise it sometimes. Last week I got a little frustrated with some of the young people who were so switched on and engaged in sessions, and seemed very spiritually mature beyond their years, but would go outside and be airheaded bimbo girls or laddish show-offy boys and forget everything they just said or did or learned. Part of this is just teenagers finding out who they are, but I think we all do it, we compartmentalise our lives and put on masks to be different people when we need to be. Can I ask that we drop the act, work out who we are and be that person the whole time? Be authentically ourselves? (Me included)

3) Never, ever, ever, underestimate young people. They are awesome. Our speaker, my good friend Neil, decided to pick as his topic for last week the book of Revelation. The whole book. In a week. And the kids kept pace. Sure they won’t have taken it all in but they definitely took it seriously and appreciated that we were willing to challenge them. Sometimes young people are referred to as the church of the future, but they aren’t. They are the church of today and until we really understand that we will keep wondering why they want to leave.

There is so much more I could say but, as I said, I need to do more processing. I am so thankful for the honour it has been to serve on youth camps for so many years and see the fruit of that investment in people’s lives.