For Enid

Everyone knows
 there are five stages of grief
 Denial
 Anger
 Bargaining
 Depression
 Acceptance
 

 But what I now know
 is that it is not a linear path
 

 Yesterday, I knew she was gone
 Today it does not quite feel real again
 Some days, I can laugh and find joy
 Others, sadness wraps around me
 Like a blanket
 Somehow comforting
 And I sit
 I do not want to move
 Because a world without her
 seems less bright somehow
 

 I’ve heard there is a sixth stage
 “Finding Meaning”
 I know I’m not there yet
 

 Because how do we find meaning in this?
 

 The weight of all the world has lost
 Seems too heavy to bear
 The numbers ticking ever upward
 and she is not just a statistic - 
 The lives
 The jobs
 The hopes and dreams
 

 Is there?
 Can there be?
 Can we find meaning in such dark times?
 

 I don’t want to trivialise
 my pain
 or anyone else’s
 with trite phrases
 

 But I do know
 I am not alone
 I do somehow have hope
 Despite everything that’s lost
 I will not be overcome