In February we had a poetry workshop at college. I wrote the poem I shared at that time for my Nan – Finding Meaning – on that day, but I also created this piece of found poetry from the book I was reading at the time, Unspoken by Guvna B. (Click on the image to enlarge it!)
For Enid
Everyone knows there are five stages of grief Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance But what I now know is that it is not a linear path Yesterday, I knew she was gone Today it does not quite feel real again Some days, I can laugh and find joy Others, sadness wraps around me Like a blanket Somehow comforting And I sit I do not want to move Because a world without her seems less bright somehow I’ve heard there is a sixth stage “Finding Meaning” I know I’m not there yet Because how do we find meaning in this? The weight of all the world has lost Seems too heavy to bear The numbers ticking ever upward and she is not just a statistic - The lives The jobs The hopes and dreams Is there? Can there be? Can we find meaning in such dark times? I don’t want to trivialise my pain or anyone else’s with trite phrases But I do know I am not alone I do somehow have hope Despite everything that’s lost I will not be overcome
You are making me
A tapestry
Colours showing You at work in me
Blues, greens, reds,
The moments and emotions of my life
Woven together in beautiful harmony
And gently sewn in
The sequins start to glimmer
Flashes of light in the darkness
Reflecting Your beauty
The work You have done in my life
Becomes an arrow pointing to You
And I hear Your whisper
“See what I am building in your life”
The work of Your hands
The moon, a mirrorball,
That draws Your light in
And reflects it out
To show the world the Way to You
Last week I said that ‘Hibernation’ was the first new poem I had written in a long time – but I made a mistake. I forgot about this one, but it is a different kind of poem…
In the autumn of last year I joined a short-lived writing group, and one week we had to bring a random item and write a poem inspired by it. One of my colleagues had just returned from a holiday to Barcelona, and brought back souvenirs for everyone in the office. I was given the fan pictured below, and that was the item I took. I was thinking what if, instead of a colleague giving it to a co-worker, a boyfriend had bought a similar item for a girlfriend. Anyway, enough explaining, I hope you enjoy…
Not a Fan
To him
It was a romantic gesture
“I thought of you while I was there”
To her
It was a thoughtless jibe
A simple reminder
That he went without her
Chose his friends over her
Had experiences she could not share
A souvenir of places she could not remember
Plastic and cloth that became a wedge
A grudge
A hint
A nudge
A suggestion that he did not care
Jewellery might have won her over
(Not that she cared about the price)
But a tacky fan she could not use
(Because the weather here is never nice)
Made her question his commitment
Made her think she could do better
Became the thing that broke the pair
I sometimes feel like
My heart has been in hibernation
Like a tree in winter
Barren and dry
Apparently lifeless
But beneath the surface
The roots go deep
And draw up life
And like the warm spring sun
A moment in your presence
Wakes my tired soul
And brings forth new colour
Blossoming, blooming, bearing fruit
After the darkest night
Comes the morning
After the coldest winter
Comes the spring
Ushered into the Awesome presence
I edge forward in fear and reverence
Knowing I stand on Holy Ground
A voice like rolling thunder
Eyes of fire
Clothed in bright light
I fall to my knees
for I am not worthy
How can I stand in Your awesome presence
How can I gaze on Your beauty and majesty
I am suddenly so aware of my failings
the stain of my sin marring what once was pure, and I am ashamed.
But then I hear Your whisper
telling me I have nothing to fear
You raise me to my feet
and clothe me in white
making me clean
blood red washing me white as snow
and Your voice
“I am the beginning and the end
the Living one who died
See I have saved you
redeemed you
made you mine
made you new.”
So now with the Saints I sing
of the One who has saved me
I sing of the salvation He has won
the great things He has done
The Holy Holy Holy LORD God Almighty
who always was
and always is
and always will be
I wrote this poem back in 2012, partly inspired by Revelation Song by Jesus Culture (below). It’s been on my mind recently and I was surprised to realised I’d never shared it on this blog.
To the God
Who knows what He is doing
Who sees all things
And knows all things
And holds all things together
I can only bring praise
As I wait
And watch
And trust
And see
(sometimes impatiently)
Your will done
Your purpose achieved
You Name made known
Your glory shown
and I am lost in wonder
My awesome God!
Beyond anything I can understand
More than minds can comprehend
Showing us things unseen
Making the unbelievable believable
We’re waiting for You
Hungry for You
Crying out for You
And boy do You turn up
and turn everything upside down
Defying explanations
Exceeding expectations
Stretching imaginations
So we see more
and want more
and seek more
More of You
This is a poem I wrote on Sunday 4th December, 2010, after an amazing evening at church where some pretty exciting things happened. I’ve moved on from that particular church now, and but I love rereading this poem and remembering all the amazing things that God has done in my life.
Recently I’ve been studying the Exodus and certain aspects of the Law given to the Israelites at the dawn of their nation. I used to get really frustrated at the Israelites and how quickly they forgot what God had done for them in bringing them out of Egypt. Throughout the Law books in the Bible, one phrase is repeated over and over: ‘I am the LORD your God who brought you out of Egypt’ – the Israelites are meant to keep the Law as an appropriate response to what God has done for them.
I say I used to get frustrated, because one day I realised I do the same thing – we so easily forget the good things that happen in our lives as soon as the next crisis comes along. This is why testimony is so important – sharing what God has done is encouragement to others and keeps it more firmly in our memories.
This was an instruction to the Israelites too. One of my favourite brief passages in the Old Testament law texts is this section from Deuteronomy (6v4-9): ‘“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.’
So find ways to remember what God has done for you. Write it down, tell a friend. Keep His words and promises at the forefront of your mind by leaving yourself notes, putting up posters, setting a reminder on your phone… If you have other suggestions please comment!
It is so important to keep reminding ourselves of all that God has done for us, to keep us trusting when the tougher times comes, and to keep us celebrating His love for us. The God we serve is awesome indeed.
Recently, I’ve been following the story of a beautiful baby girl called Tori and her parents, Brennan and Lesa Brackbill. Tori has been diagnosed with Krabbe disease, which is terminal – but people all around the world are praying that God would heal her and strengthen her family at this time.
You can read their story over at Lesa’s blog: https://thebrackbills.wordpress.com
A few days ago I was rereading some of my old poems, and I came across this one. It seemed so pertinent to their situation that today I am dedicating it to Tori and her parents
.
In the midst
Of another sleepless night
Where worries weigh
And thoughts twist, turn and tumble
I again can only trust
That You are true
Watching over the worn out, weary and weak
Strengthening the strained
Refreshing and renewing the restless worrier
Keeping the called in Your care
When we are empty
You can refill
When we are burnt out
You can refuel
When we are broken
You can remake
When all is torn apart
You recreate
I am #TeamTori
And we wait
Excitement building as the nights draw in
the coca-cola advert the first clue
that the season is on its way
Soon enough
fairy lights will flicker on house fronts
and we will count down the days with chocolates
the weeks with candles
And the shopping begins
and dreams of what might be found
in stockings hung on mantlepieces
or at the foot of the bed
but do we really know
what we are waiting for
Think back
for one girl
there were nine months of waiting
a young expectant mother
knowing her life would change completely
unaware how completely her child would change the world
and as months pass
the expectation grows
“He will save His people”
Nine months from promise to fulfillment
or longer?
as the promise was made long before
clocks go back 700 years
A promis spoken
“unto us a son is given”
“prince of peace”
light in the darkness
hope is born in an expectant people
waiting
for the silence to be broken
for the promise to be fulfilled
the promise made long before
looking back through time
hints and clues along the way
back to the beginning
the birth of the world
the first people
a promise broken
and a new promise made
the offspring who would redeem
Son of God, Son of Man
and the years passed
until the time came for the child to be born
to live
to grow
to die
and live again
so now we look back
as we look forward
to the day of celebration
For He is here
yet He is coming
so in expectation we await
the promise fulfilled
mayibethemoon 