Category Archives: poetry

Start

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Approximately one year ago I followed a link to a blog I read occasionally. The author was Jon Acuff. The blog post was looking for adventurers, all you had to do was fill in a quick form. I closed the window and tried to forget about it but it kept tugging at the back of my mind.

I was a few months into a new job and I was supposed to be happy. I was where God wanted me to be (I still believe that, by the way). But there was still this longing for something more. So I went back to the post and filled out the form, not realising how significant that small action would turn out to be. I soon found myself a part of something called ‘The Start Experiment’ (more recently reinvented as the ’30 days of Hustle’) an amazing online community with daily emails and encouragement to push you towards achieving your goals and seeing your dreams become reality.

One year on, my life is so different. I have left that job and am currently unemployed and living back with my parents, with very little in the way of concrete plans. But I have my dreams and the last year has taught me that they are worth fighting for. I am taking chances I never would have dreamed of a year ago. I have best friends who live the other side of the world whom I’ve never met but who feel like my sisters. I have bought a domain name and am starting to take myself seriously as a writer. This is the power of community.

My goal in that original Start Experiment was to see myself as a writer. As part of that experience I wrote the following poem, and posted it on a Facebook group of more than 3000 people. and they liked it.

Start

Sometime,

In a time before,

I was afraid

so I hid.

I thought I had

nothing to share

nothing to give

I thought I was

Nothing.

And I was afraid

that people would see

the nothing in me.

But now I know

what was really scaring me

was the simple idea

that I might be

Something.

That I might have

something to give

something to share

and it might be

Amazing.

But I’m afraid to be

the person I could be

if I let myself be me.

I am made

for better things

than I’ve settled for…

So I’m choosing

to let go

of the things I’m holding onto

that hold me back

And I’m choosing

not to be afraid

of where my dreams may lead me

and the person I could become

if I let myself believe

that the One who created me

Didn’t make a mistake

But saw me

and knew me

Even before I was made

And He filled me

Brim-full of potential

to be creative

for I am made in the image of Creator God

And He filled me

with a deep-set longing

to find Him – for in finding Him I find myself

This I now know

I need not fear

who I have been

or who I could be

Because I am loved

and there is no place for fear in love.

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You

I am standing where

I can see no way

No clue

But You.

 

When what I’m living

is painful

And what I want

is impossible

When there are more questions

than answers

There is You.

 

When mists block my vision

and rocks cause my feet to stumble

You remain

Only You

Always You

 

You guide me on right paths

Your Word lights my way

You will not let me fall

You will not lead me astray

 

So I trust

And I follow

 

Giving up my dreams

Knowing Your dreams for me are bigger

Hoping only in You and Your plan

 

Giving up my rights

Knowing that in complete surrender

comes total freedom.

 

 

 

I wrote this poem two years ago. I don’t remember the exact situation but I do remember it being a confusing time. Although my situation is very different now, when I came across this poem again tonight a lot of the sentiments really resonated with me. There is so much that is unknown, unseen, in our lives and we need to trust in something bigger than ourselves. A big part of that is letting go – of our insecurities, but also of our pride and the idea that we can muddle through on our own.

 

Recently this song by Josh Garrels has become my theme tune. A lot of stuff has happened in the last year that I don’t understand, yet, but God is always faithful – “keeps me ramblin’ on”

 

Video: from The Last Generation of Mankind on youtube

Music Credit To: Josh Garrels

Song: Farther Along

Album: Love War & The Sea in Between

Video Credit To: TSOphotography

accessed via: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IctD9l4F-ag

 

Hope

Sometimes

When tragedies overtake us

It can hurt to keep trusting You

In those times

When we cry out

Where are You, God?

How could You let this happen?

We don’t always realise

That You are always there

Crying with us

For You know our pain

You ache for our suffering

As You know what it is to suffer

We can turn to You for comfort

And You promise us,

Though we can’t see it yet,

That it will all turn out for good

Because we must remember

That the best thing that ever happened to us

Was brought about by death,

Your death,

Which means we can have life

And Your resurrection to life

Which saves us from death

So in these times

When darkness falls

And all I can do

Is cling to You

I seek Your comfort

Because You know me

And I know You

Because out of Your great tragedy

You brought the greatest victory

And that is why I have hope.

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Waiting (in memory of Gwen Pitt)

This is the poem I wrote for my Nan’s funeral two years ago. We still miss her, and all those who we have loved who are no longer with us. But we have hope that we will be reunited one day.

 

For you

The wait is over

The frail shell that held you here

Forgotten now as you run freely

Into the arms of the One who always loved you best

Welcomed with joy

Reunited with those who went before you

Celebrating a life well lived

Pain and suffering

Now just a fading memory

 

For us

Those who are left behind

It is harder

Our wait continues

We keep the memories

Bittersweet memories

Moments of joy

Tinged with the sadness

That you are no longer with us

 

One day

Our wait will be over too

On a day when all pain and sorrow

Will be at an end

We will meet again

 

Until then

We must press on

Trusting in Him for what awaits us

Knowing that you have joined the great cloud of witnesses

Cheering us on

 

Until that day

We wait

And say

Goodbye

For now

 

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It is not me

It is not me

that has the plan

or needs the plan

I have dreams

Let me never settle

for less than Your dreams for me

Such big ideas

Of where I want to go

Of what I want my life to be

And You see that

Because they are dreams

which You gave me

But that’s what I love about You

You speak – things happen

Ideas into reality

Nothing becomes something

Not just something

Something AMAZING

You are not done yet

I am a work in progress

But Your Word always wins

You always know

What I need to hear

To keep me believing

 

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May I Be the Moon

I used to want

To be the sun

Glorious and beautiful

With all eyes

Looking to me for light

The centre of my own private galaxy

But that is something that I cannot be

The world does not revolve around me

After all, what am I?

A random clump of dust and dirt

Tumbling through open space

Lost in darkness

Until I found the light

Of the One True Sun

Truly glorious and beautiful

So now I pray and dream

Of being the moon

My face forever turned

Towards the Sun

Seeking only His light

And content to reflect

For I have no light of my own

But the moon in its humilty

Has a great calling too

To those lost in the darkest night

Where they cannot yet see the Sun

May I be the moon

Shining in the darkness

Always reflecting

Guiding them onwards

Helping them to find their way

Out of the night

Into the bright new day

Where they can see and enjoy

Bask in the glorious light

And dwell forever

In the warmth

Of the presence

Of the One True Son