30by30

30by30 number 19 – Climbing Winchester Cathedral Tower

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So last week I wrote about my idea of listing 30 things I wanted to do by the time I turn thirty next autumn, and today I’m excited to tell you about the first thing I’ve ticked off the list. I feel the need, however, to reassure those who may have been concerned about me – I’m not actually having a quarter-life crisis, and I’m not at all disappointed in the way my life has turned out so far, and I’m not upset that I’m not married and don’t have kids yet. I know those things are in my future and I know that they will be worth the wait. I trust in God’s timing, and my faith is probably the strongest it has ever been right now.

The nature of reaching significant age milestones means that people do stop and take stock of their life. I get the same nearly every New Years and whenever someone younger than me achieves something newsworthy like releasing a number 1 album or winning a sports tournament. It doesn’t mean that I wish I had won a sports tournament, it just makes me stop and reflect on whether my life is on a good course. When I started thinking about turning thirty next year, I realised that a lot of the things that I thought I would have done by then, like getting married, haven’t happened. That doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with my life, but I still want to celebrate turning thirty, not to be scared of it.

Hopefully as we go through the year, you will see from some of the challenges on the list that this is really an excuse to have fun, and make sure I enjoy my final year of my twenties. I’ve just about finalised the list, and it’s quite a mix of things, so I hope you enjoy reading about them as much as I will enjoy doing them. I should also explain that I’m not attempting the items in any particular order, they are listed in the order I thought of them, which is why the first one I’ve done is number 19 on the list…

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Climbing Winchester Cathedral Tower

One of the perks of working for a local council is that you sometimes get to do fun excursions within the city to learn about its history and tell everyone how awesome a place it is. I was given such an opportunity last week. I was born in Winchester and have lived near it most of my life, and I have been working there for the last two years. I eat my lunch outside the Cathedral nearly everyday, so I jumped at the chance to go up to the top of the Cathedral tower and learn a bit more about its history and that of the city.

There were several sets of very narrow winding staircases, with a total of 213 steps, so my legs were very sore by the end of it. But it was so worth it for the view from the top! I also learnt lots of fun facts…

For example, the last time the cathedral bells were recast was in 1936. The tradition is that the name of the reigning monarch is carved on the inside of the tenor bell (the biggest of the bells) when the bells are recast, which in 1936 was Edward VIII. By the time the bells were returned to the cathedral, however, he had abdicated. The workmen who were putting the bells back into their places decided that they did not want the abdicator’s name on their bell, so they got out their chisels and crossed out Edward VIII, carving ‘Now George VI’ (in Latin) instead.

So, if you are ever in Winchester, the cathedral is a great place to visit and the staff and volunteers are very knowledgeable about the history of the city. If you are in good health and aren’t claustrophobic or afraid of heights, a trip to the top of the tower is definitely recommended.

Here are a few photos:

(the chair is a memorial to those who would sit inside the roof of the cathedral to watch for bombs during WWII)

30by30

30by30 – a new personal challenge

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I turned 29 last Monday. My second realisation of the day (the first being that I’d booked leave so I didn’t have to go to work) was that it was now only a year until my 30th birthday. This stopped me short, momentarily, because if you’d asked me when I was twenty what I thought my life would be like by the time I was thirty, this was not exactly what I had in mind. I expected I would be married with a couple of kids, settled into a career which I loved and probably either owning the place I lived (at least in part) or even living in a different country.

No, don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret where I am in my life or the decisions that brought me here. My life may not have gone as expected but it has been good so far. I have done some things that I probably wouldn’t have been able to do if I’d had the responsibility of kids, a house and a husband (i.e. quitting a job with nothing lined up, or funding myself through a Masters).

But realising that at least some of what I had imagined for 30-year-old me wasn’t going to come true (although, I guess, theoretically I do still have time to get married by my 30th birthday if there are any offers 😉) I decided I could be proactive. There are many things that I want to do that I haven’t got around to doing yet, so I am drafting a list of 30 things I want to have done by my 30th birthday (or soon after, as one of them is finishing my Masters and my dissertation due date is about two weeks after my birthday).

I will take photos when I accomplish each item and write a short post about each. I’m giving myself about a month to finalise the list, and there are a couple of gaps so if you have suggestions, please let me know! You can comment below, tweet me or post on my Facebook page – everything is called mayibethemoon… Also, let me know if you have ever tried a similar challenge, and how you got on!

I’ve already ticked one thing off on the list, but I think I will leave that for another post…

Book review

Book Review – ‘Girls With Swords’ by Lisa Bevere

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I finished reading this book this week, and I must confess I read it a bit too quickly. I intend to read it again more slowly and thoroughly in the future and I’m sure I will get a lot more from it.

I’m just starting my research for my Masters dissertation, for which I have picked the topic of Feminist Theology. As I have had a bit of a break from studying over the summer, I picked up this book to try to give myself a gentler reintroduction to academic reading, which may be why I rushed it as I was feeling guilty that I wasn’t reading something meatier…

I loved the imagery of the sword used throughout, especially the word play of God Sword/God’s Word. Most of the time it was helpful, although occasionally I lost the thread of the point Bevere was trying to make in between all of the fencing terms. I also struggled to find the practical take-aways in what she was saying, but both of these things may have been where I was rushing a bit to read it.

It did make me reflect on my reasons for writing about feminist theology. My starting point for research is that some of the traditional teaching of the church has been a factor in the oppression, or at the very least, the marginalisation of women both within the church and in wider society. We have been told that only certain types of women are pleasing to God, i.e. the silent submissive kind. This has left women open to attack in all sorts of ways, and ill-prepared to defend themselves. But there are so many examples in the Bible and in church history of women taking the lead, making a stand, teaching, preaching and bringing people closer to God. (One small criticism of the book is that Bevere mainly uses male biblical characters as examples to make her points. Though I understand why given the points she is making, and I’m happy to have male role models, I can’t help feeling that the awesome women of God in the Bible should be getting more airtime, especially from female writers).

Girls With Swords is a call to women to equip themselves with the Word of God and to speak out, in love, mercy, forgiveness and against injustice. It is a reminder that we are daughters of the King, and he has entrusted each of us with a mission. I know my rushed reading didn’t do it justice, and I intend to reread it, and also to recommend it to women everywhere who need to recognise that they are people of power too.

My favourite chapter was about the flame-bladed sword, or the sword of song. Last week a friend a church prayed that I would find a new song, and this chapter was about how when we sing praise to God it strengthens us and brings His kingdom that bit closer. One of my favourite verses in the Bible is Zephaniah 3:17, which tells us that God delights in us and sings with joy over us. The day after I read the chapter about the singing sword, I was half listening to a song on the radio when I felt suddenly sure that I needed to note the name of the band and look the song up when I got home. I don’t know if the songwriters have a faith or what the song means to them, but for me it is the song God is singing over me, and, honestly, it just makes me feel epic. It’s called Warrior Daughter and the band is Wildwood Kin, please use the link below to see the video (I’m typing this on the iPad so I’m not sure how to embed the video, sorry! I promise it is worth the click!)

https://youtu.be/SPjWuQBaUNo

Book review

Rule of Life and Book Review of ‘God in my Everything’ by Ken Shigematsu

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It’s been over a month since I finished this book, so it won’t be a thorough review, more a suggestion that it is a really good book to read if you are a very busy person struggling to fit God into your day to day life.

We were reading this in our home groups at church between May and July this year. We read a chapter or two per week and discussed it together – what we were learning, how we were trying to put it into practice. The book centres around spiritual disciplines, and how to build in rhythms of moments with God into your everyday experience. I found it really encouraging. As someone who doesn’t have a lot of free time, it was a good reminder to REST (which may have been my word for the year and is still something I’m not very good at).

I finished the book whilst I was in Moldova, meaning I missed the last couple of weeks of discussing it with my homegroup, but also that it became part of the general wake-up call I received from God at that time. I’d been drifting slightly for a couple of months in my relationship with God – one of the dangers of theological study is that God becomes just the subject you are studying and there is a tendency to forget that it is meant to be a relationship. I was clinging on because it was a stressful time, but I wasn’t really listening to what He was saying to me. This book, and then my Moldova trip, was God saying, ‘Hang on, are you listening to me? Yoohoo! Over here when you’re ready…!’

I was reading the chapter about outreach on our last day of the girls camp in Moldova. The need we saw in Moldova was a little overwhelming, and at times it was difficult to believe that our efforts would actually make any difference. Then I read this:

‘When we serve we experience joy and find ourselves drawn closer to God, but there will also be times when our efforts feel like a drop in an ocean of human need. Remember, Scripture tells us that our work will not be in vain (1 Corinthians 15:58). Nothing done with and for Christ in this present time will be wasted in God’s future. It will find its way into the new world.’ (p 195)

It was so powerful in that moment that it brought tears to my eyes. I read it out to some of my teammates and we were all encouraged to be reminded that nothing we had done was wasted in God’s economy.

I’ve drafted a rule of life for myself now, simple goals to keep me on track with God, with my health and with my work/life/study balance. I thought about sharing it on here, and maybe I will at some point, but for now I think it’s just for me to keep reflecting on alone. But I encourage you to read the book for yourself and to work on ways to build in rhythms of spiritual discipline into your own life.

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Hello again and general life update…

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So, I realise it’s been a long while since I posted anything. Things got a little bit crazy for a while there. Unfortunately, any writing for anything other than uni has slightly fallen by the wayside temporarily but now life is a bit calmer again I hope I will be able to post more frequently.

So what have I been up to?

Well, I started doing a few extra hours at work in February and officially went full time at the start of June.

I also wrote and handed in three essays (two at the start of April and one at the end of June).

Two days after handing in my last essay, I flew to Moldova for two weeks with a charity called Operation Mobilisation to work with vulnerable children and young people (I gave a brief talk about my trip and my parents’ church last week, which was filmed, and we are working on making a video that I can share, but there are various guidelines that need to be followed. If we can’t make it work, I will write up a report of the trip here).

I’ve been back about a month and have been busy learning my new role at work at a time when a lot of our procedures are in the process of being changed, so it has been quite tiring – meaning that my downtime has involved mainly sleeping, watching tv and playing Disney Emoji Blitz.

But I’ve been feeling the itch to get back to writing… I have so many things I want to write about, and will be trying to carve out the time to put pen to paper (or rather, fingers to keyboard) and share some of the things I’ve been reflecting on.

Because, looking back over the last few months, although they have often been busy and rather stressful, I realise now that I have grown a lot in this time. Mostly in realising that I am capable of more than I imagined, with God on my side. And that there are burdens that I am meant to bear, but also many that I am meant to let go of.

Moldova was a soul cleanser. I realised so many things about myself and about God while I was out there. I remembered that there are greater purposes at work, and that I have a calling on my life, but also that the season I am in is not being wasted – I am learning skills and my character is being shaped and honed. I realised that I can make a difference in situations even when I don’t speak the language. I relearned that God’s love is stronger than any barrier, and that He fights fiercely for His children. Although it was not a holiday, when I came home and had caught up on sleep, I felt refreshed and ready to face the world again.

Unfortunately, we, as fallible humans, are quick to forget the things we learn, and the last couple of weeks I have been struggling to cling on to the lessons I learned. But God is faithful. And I am learning still to build in rhythms of life that help me connect with Him day to day (more on that soon-ish).

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Two years ago I wrote about my #Next5 – the goals I had for the following five years. They were:

  • get a Masters in theology
  • finish the first draft of a novel
  • move back out from my parents
  • find a job I really care about
  • meet the man of my dreams

Around this time last year I gave an update, so I thought it was time for another one… and not much has changed…

I’m now two thirds of the way through my Masters degree, and have achieved better marks than I expected with the extra hours I was doing at work, so that was encouraging! This last week we had our first ‘Research and Study Skills’ unit as an introduction to our dissertation module. I have picked a topic that I’m passionate about (feminist theology), and am keen to get researching. So that, at least, is very exciting!

As for the rest… there hasn’t been much progression. The novels are on hold until the end of my course next year, realistically, although I’m intending to write more short stories, flash fiction and poetry to keep my non-acadamic writing hand in. My parents and I are in discussions about how, when and where I could move out, so hopefully that might happen within a year, and I’m squirreling away what money I can now that I’m earning more and have nearly paid all my uni fees. Work is… interesting… There are some parts of the new job that I do really enjoy, and some parts that I could take or leave. I think that coming back to work after Moldova has helped me to realise that while I enjoy admin, there are definitely other fields that I am more passionate about working in, so I am praying for God to guide me and open up the right opportunities for me in the future. I have not met any eligible men. But I have started dance classes again, so at least I’m breaking out of my introvert shell a little.

I think that’s all for now, folks. I will be back soon (I hope), but until then, thanks for joining me on my journey.

Book review

Book Review – The Boy Who Loved Rain by Gerard Kelly

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First, I feel I should preface this by saying I know Gerard and his wife Chrissy through Bless, the missional charity they run serving churches across Europe. My links with Bless date back almost ten years now, I love the work that they do and feel privileged to have been involved with it. I’m not saying this to name-drop (I know an author!) but so you understand that my review is not unbiased! 😉

I have read most of Gerard’s non-fiction works and greatly enjoyed them (especially Stretch, Stretch was brilliant), so I was really excited when I heard he had written a novel, promptly pre-ordered it, waited impatiently for it to be delivered, and then waited a year and a half to actually read it… such is the state of my to-read list, and for that I can only apologise.

It was definitely worth the wait though! Gerard is a gifted communicator – whether in sermons, blogs, poetry, tweets – and his style translated well into fiction.

The story follows Colom, a teenage boy who has recently developed behavioural problems, and his mother Fiona as she tries to help him. Her husband, David, is a pastor and reluctant to seek help from outside the church, and their home has become a battleground. Fiona seeks the help of Miriam, and old friend, former nun and therapist, who gives Fiona and Colom refuge as they try to work through his problems.

The descriptions were almost tangible, the characters mostly well-rounded, although there were a few gaps in the backstories and I wanted to see more of David and his point of view. The story didn’t develop the way I expected it to, which is usually a good thing (!) and the novel as a whole was really emotionally engaging as the revelations about the family’s past came to light and the relationships shifted and deepened. I liked the continuing motif of the weather and how it paralleled and even prophesied the characters’ emotional states. I also enjoyed the sections of first person narrative, from an unknown narrator who wasn’t revealed until nearly the end – the way these were written they could have been attributed to several characters, and different ones at different points.

My only slight disappointed was the fault of my expectations. After the first couple of chapters I was expecting this to be a book about how a church community reacts and deals with mental illness and the failings of its leaders – it didn’t go that direction, and was a more personal story because of that. The novel was great as it was, and did in some ways deal with the issues – particularly of how to help someone suffering from mental illness – but for me that church community aspect was lacking. I guess I wanted a couple of extra chapters of epilogue to cover the family reunion and the aftermath for their relationships and David’s pastoral ministry.

I still think the way this novel deals with the issue of mental illness is really timely for the church, as it has been a taboo subject for so long. The novel provides an insight for those working with young people, and a challenge for parents who are involved in church leadership on balancing their families and their ministry.

creative writing

Do Not Mess With The Dress – a short story

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Write about a time you were in trouble with your parents, a school principal or teacher, or the law, but write it from the point of view of the person in authority.*

This is meant to be a quality establishment, for the cream of society. The best, the richest, the most fashionable – people of taste, discernment, and judgement.

Not any more. Now it’s a tourist attraction for the riffraff. Day trippers from The North, or, worse, kids on school trips to the ‘Big City’ – let out of their classrooms for “enriching activities” or some such nonsense.

I should be able to take pride in my work. I help the most glamorous of brides to find the perfect gown for the most important day of their lives, evoking jealousy in the hearts of all who behold them. Only the elite can afford these dresses, so, in my view, only the elite should be allowed to look at them.

Instead, I have to put up with a bunch of silly kids cooing over my dresses, dresses they (or their parents) coulee never in a million years afford, pawing at them with their sticky hands. Disgusting.

So I decided to scare a few today. They were taking photos – the cheek of it! So I told them I would be calling the police – after all, for all I knew they were trying to steal our designs (and who wouldn’t want to steal them?!)

Well, they looked suitably chastised, and I suppose they didn’t really mean any harm, so, begrudgingly, I let them go.

 

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When I was 14 I thought I was going to be arrested for taking a photo of a wedding dress in a famous London department store. This is from the store assistant’s perspective. This was written as part of my lent creative writing challenge.

 

*This writing prompt is from 642 Tiny Things to Write About (2014) by the San Francisco Writers’ Grotto

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Taking up, not giving up…

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Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the Lenten season, as we wait and prepare for Easter. Traditionally, it is a season of repentence, when Christians give up luxuries and distractions to focus on God and recommit their lives to him.

I love this season, and I have given things up in the past (one year I gave up tea and chocolate – my friends will tell you, it was not pretty). I haven’t observed lent for a couple of years (mainly as I’ve been on a diet for the last three), but this year I felt I wanted to mark it somehow. But how?

Then a friend gave me the book “642 tiny things to write about” and it gave me idea.

You see, one of my life goals is to be a published writer, and if you read this blog regularly you may remember that one of my five year goals is to complete the first draft of a novel. You may also remember that this has been on the back burner while I’m studying for my masters.

I have to do a lot of writing for my masters, and I love it, but it is all so serious! I miss creative writing.

I may not have time right now to focus on novel drafting, but I realised last week at a “meet the author” event that I should still be practising imaginative writing.

So for lent, I plan to pick at random one of the 642 tiny things and write. Each one should only take up one page of an A5 notebook. I just finished today’s, and it was so much fun!

If it goes well, I will stick with it after lent. If any of them are any good, I may even type them up and post them on here. 🙂

 

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A Slightly Belated New Years Resolutions Type Post

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(Meaning I made the resolutions at the start of the new year but I am only just getting around to writing about it).

I like New Years. I like the thought of new beginnings. However good or bad the previous year has been, as December 31st ends and January 1st begins it is a chance to take a breath, take stock, and start afresh.

2015 was a pretty good year, really. Nothing awful happened and I made progress towards my goals (including getting my best ever mark on an essay, which was also possibly the most enjoyable essay I’ve written), I ended the year with money in my savings account and finished 59 books (nearly five per month).

For the last five years I’ve been picking words to help define and shape the year. Last year the word I picked was relate, as I wanted to invest in friendships as much as possible. I enjoyed some great times with old friends and made some new ones, and in many ways I managed to prioritise this when making choices about how to spend my time and money. I did still struggle when attempting to small talk with people I don’t know well at church – after all I’m still an introvert – but I’m trying to become braver!

I was also challenged to add a second word for the year. I have a tendency to worry and God whispered to me that I need to focus on trusting Him more about my future, after all He has never let me down so far. So I made Trust my second word for 2015 and tried to turn to prayer and faith instead when I felt the worries creeping in.

So, I’m sure you are all dying to know what my word for 2016 is…

For the last three months of 2015 I had a series of nasty colds leaving me feeling tired and ill pretty much the whole time. At the same time, I was trying to focus on studying and also deliberating over whether I could cope with more hours and responsibilities at work. It was fairly exhausting and while I tried to take breaks and have quiet times with God, it was a struggle.

I had a good holiday over Christmas and New Year, but it made me realise that I have always had a bit of an issue with giving myself a break. I have a tendency to feel guilty if I take time out when I always have so much I could be doing. I have gotten a bit better at this over the last few years but I still have a bit of a ways to go. Also, I struggle to make time in my schedule to meet with God, and this is not good…

So when I was thinking about my word for 2016, one kept popping back into my mind as something I really need to work on in my life – Rest.

Rest is an important concept in the Bible, right from the start. In the creation account in Genesis 1 (and the very beginning of chapter 2) we are told how God created the universe in six days (don’t ask me whether this were literal or figurative days, I don’t know). And then, on the Seventh day, He created something else – Rest. We are told in Genesis 2v2 that God rested from all the work He had done. Now I don’t think for a moment that God was worn out from all the hard work of creating and needed to take a nap, He is God, for goodness sake. He was setting a pattern for creation of seasons of work and rest. We aren’t designed to be hustling constantly, we need moments to sit back and enjoy what we have achieved, to refuel and strengthen ourselves to keep hustling. This is why we have weekends, why crops grow better if fields are left fallow for a season, why God commands us to keep the Sabbath holy.

I have become pretty protective of my Saturdays in the last year or so. I don’t let myself feel pressured to get up and do things if I don’t want to, I try to keep it clear of studying, and I make time to do things I enjoy. I intend to build on this this year, by adding restful moments into every day – small times of pausing from life and focusing on God. It seems counterintuitive, but my first step in restful living was to start getting up fifteen minutes earlier on work days so that I would have time to read my Bible and not feel like I was rushing to get to work on time. Although my body clock is still adjusting, I’m starting to find that I’m more awake by the time I get to work, and able to focus better, and generally less stressed.

As we are having a somewhat unsettled time at work, and I am working on the plans for my five-year goals, and because of God’s gentle whispers, I decided to keep Trust as a second word for 2016.

Fortunately, I found a Bible passage which incorporates both of my words, and have made them my verses for the year:

‘Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in all your ways, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own estimation, fear the LORD and turn away from evil. This will bring healing to your body and refreshment to your inner self” Proverbs 3v5-8, NET (some other translations use ‘rest’ instead of ‘refreshment’, I promise)

As for actual New Years Resolutions – I made two, and they are both pretty geeky, I admit, but hopefully they will both feed into my rest times. The first is to read the complete works of Shakespeare, in honour of the 400th anniversary of his death. The second is to make progress with my ‘to-read’ list on Goodreads by reading a significantly higher number of books than I buy (and I made a spreadsheet to help me keep track). As of today, I have nearly completed three Shakespeare plays, and I have read 6 books and bought 2, so we are doing okay so far.