Dust – a reflection on Psalm 1

IMG_0808

Dust

What we are formed from

What we return to

Yet so much more

Dust

scattered so easily

You hold me together

particles clinging

threads intertwined

life breathed in

not dry dead cells

but precious

like gold

dust

You delight in me

and I delight in You

bringing meaning to my moments

and destiny to my dust

Advertisements

Two ways to live

Psalm One (click to read!)IMG_0135

I’m not sure if this Psalm is officially counted as a Wisdom Psalm or not, but it definitely has some wise teaching for us.

The Psalm presents us with two ways to live and the consequences of each choice.

The first picture we are painted is of one who is slowly becoming more entrenched in wicked ways – first they are walking with bad influences and taking their advice. Then they stop and stand and hang around with those who do bad things. Then they sit and stay, not moving on, in the company of mean people.

The second picture is a contrast – and this is the person who God blesses – the one who delights in the Lord and studies His word. This person will not be easily led astray because he is deeply rooted in God, constantly being refreshed, connected to the source of life, as in John 15, and producing fruit (one assumes the fruit of the Spirit – Galatians 5:22-3). This person is full of life and prospers because he has deep roots (Colossians 2:7).

But the wicked person has no roots and quickly blown away. Here today, gone tomorrow.

Now we see the consequences – the wicked person is judged by God and brought down, but the righteous person is seen and known by God, they will grow and be refreshed.

These concepts of ‘wicked’ and ‘righteous’ can sometimes seem a little archaic to our ears, and people are never this black and white. I’m sure this psalm has been misused in the past to encourage young people away from ‘hanging out with the wrong crowd’. For me, however, that is not the takeaway. The man who is blessed is the one who is seeking God’s advice, God’s perspective, not man’s. He is looking for a heavenly mindset. It is so easy to get so used to culture, society, the media, that their messages which bombard us everyday become our standard pattern of thought. And ‘what goes in to the mind comes out in the life’ – we can so easily become the man sitting down in the company of nasty people without realising it.

Don’t get me wrong here – there are a lot of great and insightful and fun television programmes and films and books and art and music, and we can learn a lot from them. But there are a lot of these things (even some of the really good ones) that are at odds with the Biblical lifestyle. We have to make sure we are flooding our minds with the Word, so that that influences our lives more than the culture around us.

When I was at university, I developed a bit of an addiction to that wonderful sitcom, favourite to so many, Friends. (I still love it!) I got to the point where I would chain watch multiple episodes, even fall asleep watching it. And then I started to notice that when my friends were talking about problems in their lives, I could more easily bring up a joke from friends than an encouraging Bible verse. When I thought about my own life and relationships I could more easily relate it to what I was seeing onscreen than what I was reading in God’s word. It started to affect the way I thought about life and so, in the end, I gave myself a break from the show until I had got myself more stuck in the Bible and seeing things God’s way.

This isn’t easy but it is so much the better way, because it brings life and health and refreshment to our souls.

 

Hope

Sometimes

When tragedies overtake us

It can hurt to keep trusting You

In those times

When we cry out

Where are You, God?

How could You let this happen?

We don’t always realise

That You are always there

Crying with us

For You know our pain

You ache for our suffering

As You know what it is to suffer

We can turn to You for comfort

And You promise us,

Though we can’t see it yet,

That it will all turn out for good

Because we must remember

That the best thing that ever happened to us

Was brought about by death,

Your death,

Which means we can have life

And Your resurrection to life

Which saves us from death

So in these times

When darkness falls

And all I can do

Is cling to You

I seek Your comfort

Because You know me

And I know You

Because out of Your great tragedy

You brought the greatest victory

And that is why I have hope.

IMG_0153

When a ‘No’ feels like a win

I officially finished my job yesterday, meaning today I am officially out of work.

At this point I feel like I should be crazily job hunting and widening my search for work, but actually I am relaxed. I have options and I have time. I’d rather have the ‘right’ job than just any job.

Last week I had a preliminary interview for a job that on paper seemed like a brilliant opportunity. It was in  church youth work (my field) and included training at the local Bible college. The staff and elders from the church whom I met at the interview were all lovely, and friendly and put me at my ease as soon as I arrived. They asked all the right questions, and listened to my story without judgement. They appreciated and understood what I had gained from my life experiences and how that influenced my work. The answered all my questions with what I wanted and hoped to hear from potential employers, and from a church family. The church itself was a lovely building, recently refurbished, with great spaces and equipment for the youth work. In all it ticked nearly all of my boxes of what I’m looking for in a job.

But I left with the feeling that it wasn’t the right opportunity for me, though I couldn’t quite put my finger on why. When people asked, I said I wasn’t sure that the village location would suit me (I’ve realised now that I am definitely a city girl at heart) but there was more to it than that. It just didn’t feel right.

I had a call from the church leader in the evening after the pre-interview saying that they would be taking up references that week and shortlisting for the formal interviews and would be in touch at the end of the week. I thanked them and said that although I was still interested in the post but would appreciate having a few days to think about it.

In my heart I knew that I wouldn’t be taking the job, but practically in my head I told myself I needed to think more about it. Because, without a job lined up, could I really afford the luxury of turning down a job?

So as the week went by I grew more sure that I was making the right decision, but was really nervous that the church would call and offer me a formal interview and I would have to turn it down.

But when they called… the church leader said that they had really enjoyed meeting me, I came over really well in the pre-interview and ticked all the right boxes in terms of what they were looking for… but… as they had talked and prayed about it they felt sure that it wouldn’t be the right situation for me. I was so relieved, I was over the moon. I explained that I had been feeling the same way, that I was really impressed by everything I’d seen and heard but just knew it wasn’t right for me.

So here’s the thing. Here’s the takeaway – God knows what He is doing. And He tells us. We just have to listen. The Holy Spirit speaks to everyone and there are beautiful moments where what we think God is saying to us is confirmed through what He is saying to other people.

I may not know right now where I am headed next. I have ideas, and they are exciting and I am waiting to see how the opportunities in front of me play out… But I have no definite answers right now. But I have hope. God knows where I am going, and He is at work, behind the scenes, preparing the place for me.

I’ve given up making plans for the future. I have ideas, dreams of what I want for my life, and I know God has an amazing plan for me that will let me achieve those dreams to His glory.IMG_0034

“And I will lead the blind

in a way that they do not know,

in paths that they have not known

I will guide them.

I will turn the darkness before them into light,

the rough places into level ground.

These are the things I do,

and I do not forsake them”

Isaiah 42v16

Waiting (in memory of Gwen Pitt)

This is the poem I wrote for my Nan’s funeral two years ago. We still miss her, and all those who we have loved who are no longer with us. But we have hope that we will be reunited one day.

 

For you

The wait is over

The frail shell that held you here

Forgotten now as you run freely

Into the arms of the One who always loved you best

Welcomed with joy

Reunited with those who went before you

Celebrating a life well lived

Pain and suffering

Now just a fading memory

 

For us

Those who are left behind

It is harder

Our wait continues

We keep the memories

Bittersweet memories

Moments of joy

Tinged with the sadness

That you are no longer with us

 

One day

Our wait will be over too

On a day when all pain and sorrow

Will be at an end

We will meet again

 

Until then

We must press on

Trusting in Him for what awaits us

Knowing that you have joined the great cloud of witnesses

Cheering us on

 

Until that day

We wait

And say

Goodbye

For now

 

IMG_0790

Perseverance

Hebrews 12:1-2, Hebrews 11:1

 

Beautiful Sunset

When I’m going through times when everything seems to be really hard work, which happens often, these are my favourite verses to keep me going.

Faith is sometimes seen as something wishy-washy and insubstantial, a vague hope in something seemingly unbelievable, or just wishful thinking. But faith is something so powerful in these verses. Hebrews 11 is one of my favourite passages in the Bible because it shows the power of faith in God. Verse 1 says faith is “assurance” and “conviction”, other translations use “confidence”, “being sure” and “being certain”. Jesus, as always, is our example of what this means. Hebrews 12:1-2 says that Jesus “endured the cross” because of “the joy that was set before him”. He knew that better things were to come and that enabled Him to endure the pain and shame of death on a cross.

Knowing what Jesus endured makes facing anything I come up against seem a little easier, mostly because I know He is here to help me. I know God has promised good things for my future, and maybe I don’t see them yet or how they will happen, but I have faith to endure the time of waiting and the difficulties that come with it. Several things I have watched/read recently have quoted the old saying that “the night is darkest just before the dawn.” If you’re struggling, have faith – there is joy to come in the morning.

The Lord has promised good to me

His word my hope secures

He will my shield and portion be

As long as life endures

It is not me

It is not me

that has the plan

or needs the plan

I have dreams

Let me never settle

for less than Your dreams for me

Such big ideas

Of where I want to go

Of what I want my life to be

And You see that

Because they are dreams

which You gave me

But that’s what I love about You

You speak – things happen

Ideas into reality

Nothing becomes something

Not just something

Something AMAZING

You are not done yet

I am a work in progress

But Your Word always wins

You always know

What I need to hear

To keep me believing

 

IMG_1115